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Our friends for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered many challenges, which I admire. Yet, she has been constantly caught off guard by others. Her spouse left her, which came as an unexpected event. A lot of her friends drifted away at that point, as they were focused solely on her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in increased attention toward our bond, and must have realised better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, many of her friends have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. Her previous job turned on her, although she had been an excellent employee, and she left without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we have each stepped back from work leading to more each other more, yet I realize my position in our friendship is to listen. I open subjects but she shifts conversation onto what interests her. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to propose double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been planning a holiday abroad I've visited many times and resided in for some time. I attempted to provide insights, but this was met with resistance. She purely solely sought my agreement with her plans. I have ended a month in that place and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away without a word, however, I feel she will ever understand the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in pulling back. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, however, that approach is not often the easy answer that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to resolution takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Therapists recommend using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one involves describing the usual pattern during your discussions. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express her how it makes you feel. There should be no argument about this. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Step three involves requesting how the two of you going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Consider your friend has her own side, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. An approach that works involves stating her:

"Now you talk and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend might reject everything, as some people have a deep-seated story: they maintain a story of their life they're unable to abandon since their identity depends upon it being the only thing they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no clear path with these people, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out like this before reflecting on your words. If you never reach a fix, you'll have closure knowing you were open and direct.